Friday, February 20, 2009

Blog. Over.

I guess putting off the inevitable is really just a form of denial. Recently I've been fight my way out of denial to finally accept that what I've been convincing myself is working really isn't, no matter how much effort I put into it.

The last two years has been, um, interesting to say the least. And while chronicling my adventures, mishaps, achievements, and disappointments has been enjoyable (and even a strangely therapeutic at times), in the end I couldn't shake the feeling that maintaining this was all just a burden of non-necessity…a task without purpose…a blog without meaning. How it outlasted the typical 90-day life span of most personal blog I have no idea. Now that I think about it, you can thank (or blame) Betty that I made it this far. :)

Maybe I'm drawing too many correlations between this blog and my own life. Both should be strongly based in purpose and for the past many months neither feel like they have. Fortunately for me, I'm finally fed up with just accepting things the way they are and starting to make my own change. I'm working on losing the cubical-mass that I've acquired over the past 5 years, I'm taking classes on the weekend to reawaken my brain, and I'm shedding the people, places, and things that draining me of my time, money, and happiness.

Things are easy to get rid of, but the real trick is withstanding temptation to run out and buy new things. I need to unclutter. What about people? Well, that's a slippery slope even on a good day (and you're screwed if they're people you're stuck with because you work together), but now I finally understand that if the people around you only want to be there for their own benefit you're just wasting your time and have no one to blame but yourself. I feel like an idiot that it's taken so long to accept that…lord knows I've been given plenty of lessons throughout life. Finally, there's places…which is going to be the most challenging as the bank may have a thing or two to say about whether or not I'm stuck here. It's time to move on, time to uproot, time for a change in scenery to match the other changes.

As I'm typing, I'm realizing that this, the process of changing my life to find satisfaction, could be just what the blog has been missing: a cohesive theme! But luckily for you, I'm not so narcissistic that I believe everyone out there on the interwebs is hanging on my every word. Even I'm not that interested in me, and I'm all I've got!

Is this the end of Gay Kenny Ray? For the blog, yes. For the man, no…it's a new beginning. (Are the italics too clich├ęd?) If we're both lucky, you may not recognize me the next time we meet.

Well, thanks for stopping by. I hope you enjoy the rest of your web browsing. Good bye.

Friday, December 12, 2008

On hold.

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I really can't say, right now. If or when it happens, it'll just happen. Good things come to those who wait, relatively speaking.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Today's the day

All over America thousands of men and women are banding together in a radical form of protest. What started out as a call to action against the passing of Prop 8 (aka: Prop H8, Prop "Hate") by removing ourselves from the work world (similar to the work stoppage of 2006's "A Day Without A Mexican") has gone one better. Rather that dropping off the face of the earth for a day by not working or contributing to the economy as originally suggested, today DWAG supporters of all orientations will be volunteering their time and giving back to the community. In other words, today we're fighting H8 with love. And in a nice bit of coincidence, today is also International Human Rights Day.

Today I will be joining at least one of my coworkers at the SF Food Bank to help sort and package food, and whatever else they need help with to ensure that no one in SF goes hungry this winter. I'm looking forward to being able to help there again. There seems to be quite a bit of news coverage about today, from the looks of a quick Google search. Let's hope that it doesn't get cast in the wrong light, and that no one goes out and does anything negative in the name of the day.

OK, gotta run…I don't want to be late!