Bye, Curious.

March was a month of reflection for me. It was back in the middle of the month that I had actually started to pen this entry but as several others it went unfinished, waiting for the inspiration to re–motivate me to finish what I had started. While I would hardly call it "inspiration" this time, the motivation unexpectedly returned…twice in as many days.

You may recall the Social Engineering posts from weeks ago, if not, get up to speed with this link, where I wondered about making friends out of coworkers while also struggling to balance the give and take of relationships in general. In Part 2 I had alluded to helping an unbalanced friendship (which upon retrospect I'm not even sure it could be considered one) dissolve. Well, this post is to be the catharsis of that allusion.

Dear Curious,

First of all I want to say that while I've enjoyed talking with you over the last couple years, what we have outside of the workplace is just not working for me. Maybe I'm alone in thinking this, but when 99.37% of all social interactions take place via AIM, that can't really be a solid foundation for something expected to stand the tests of time. Perhaps you've just become too familiar with being on the receiving end of other people's time and attention that you've lost the sight of the concept of reciprocation. Or maybe you're more self-centered than you want people to think and really have no interest in people other than what they can do for you (or in some cases, to you). Either way, my time is more valuable to me now than ever before and since there's no balance between the time I give you and the time you return, I'm going to be putting my time in more worthwhile investments. Don't worry about all the secrets you shared with me; they will go with me to the grave. Luckily I don't have to expect the same of you because you never really took the time to get to know me at all.

Now, I understand that we may run into each other on occasion on the company campus, which could be potentially awkward. It doesn't have to be as I will continue to be acceptably cordial for a workplace situation, but don't expect anything more as I will not from you.

Best wishes sorting out the complexities in your personal life. I suspect you've got a lot of soul searching and issues to come to grips with and while one should never be alone while sorting out such things, I'm resigning from being your go-to gay for such things in order to peruse other options. I apologize that this means that I must also rescind my offer of "always being someone you can talk to" as that may have ultimately been the genesis of the unbalance in our friendship acquaintanceship. But I'm sure you'll be fine…just give it time…people like you always land on their feet (on top of the people they used up along the way). You'll figure out who you are eventually…even if the rest of us already know.

Bye, Curious.

gkr

Wow. I do feel better. Now it's time for a quick shower and shave to meet up with Betty (in person!) for a little cinematic mood lift and good times.