Overheard at Thanksgiving Dinner

Yet again, taken out of context, the following could raise an eyebrow or two.

4-year old nephew: "Do you want to be a bad girl?"

4-year old niece-in-law: "Well, yeah!"

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bro-in-law: "He usually does OK if he gets the head into his mouth and not just on his lips."

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And it's this last one that has reenforced my faith and confidence in the suburban undercover white trash family unit.

4-year old nephew: "Ow! Uncle Kenny, she hurted my dick."

Uncle Kenny: "Well, that's what bad girls do. Just be glad it was only her hands."

Now I'm not sure how my nephew managed to pick up that adultish slang word, but it's better, if only marginally, than my own family's slang word of "mister" when referring to the penis. (My mother was a registered nurse for heaven sakes, you would think she'd be able to use the clinical terms comfortably with us.) The last time I visited my nephew he left me stunned with his reaction to my seemingly innocent request to stop doing Ninja-style kicks near my groin. Upon one of a little-too-close-for-comfort attempts I snapped, "Hey, watch it, mister!" To which he replied, "I'm not mister…! THIS is mister!" and he proceeded to flash me. YIKES! As a gay man, I'm living under enough misconceptions and irrational stereotypes already, the last thing I need is a preschooler doing that and someone walking in not having been there for for the first half. So yes, I'm glad he's moved on in his slang vocabulary because the chances of me calling him a dick and getting a repeat performance are far, far less likely.