Enough with the fake kids

I'm sorry everyone, this is going to be a mini-bitchfest. Not to be confused with Bettyfest or Lilbitchmore. No, I'm now official exhausted with Hollywood's obsession with making kids in movies and TV show so friggin' precocious. And not even just precocious, but like way wittier than most adults could even remotely wish they'd be. Mind you, I was raised on TV to a large degree. A lot of my own vocabulary and amusing repartee has been heavily influenced by TV and movies. Maybe I'm alone in this, but how can the writers, producers, and directors expect me to be completely absorbed in a show/movie where some 2nd grader is spouting off dialog that is too clever even for adults.

Case in point, ABC is promoting their new show "October Road" up the ass right now. It seemed like almost every commercial break in Lost had at least one plug for the show. Anywho, in the particular scene that got me all riled up, a (painfully attractive) man and a woman are meeting again for the first time in many years when the (painfully attractive) man meets the woman's son. I'm guessing the man thought the woman might still be single and he could possibly get back in on that action, so there's a bit of an awkward pause as he weighs this new information. The kid interjects with, "Why don't I delicately extract myself." Seriously? A 7 year old is going to say that? COME ON! This is hardly the first, or even the worst offense, but since I was all amp'd up during Lost, it got the better of me. The show looks like it has a little potential—and no, I don't work for ABC— and when you add in the fact that I'm already smitten with lead actor Bryan Greenberg I might even watch it. Writers listen up, stop making kids sound smarter then they are. Especially Dakota Fanning. 'Nuf said. Tomorrow I will get over it.

P.S.: "October Road" writers, you've got yourself a loyal viewer if you make sure to script in plenty of shirtless scenes with my latest yeah-like-that's-gonna-happen crush (sorry Joe).