Vocally challenged?

I have a friend (sorry, no names on this one) that I feel like I've really gotten to know over the last year. We talk a lot, nearly every day. And by talk I really mean that we chat via instant message. We don't communicate by phone. And even more rarely in person. None of this even occurred to me, really, until tonight during our usual IM chat before shutting down for the night routine. He was telling me how he went out with some visiting colleagues and had a great time talking with them over drinks and food. This scenario happens often and with a constantly rotating cast of guest stars.

It seems odd to me that someone that I feel I know on a pretty personal level—we've had many a conversation that he said he would never feel comfortable talking to anyone else about—and someone who I would call my friend—shit, I'd be willing to throw down to protect his good name—is someone that I barely ever talk to in person, and not for lack of trying. This leaves me feeling a bit puzzled. It's not a matter of distances as we both live in the same metropolis and our companies are just minutes apart. It's not a matter of shyness as he seems to have no problem talking up people he's meeting in person for the first time.

And let me say what I know you're saying to the screen as you read this, "You're just jealous." Damn skippy I'm jealous! Wouldn't you feel just the tiniest bit of something (perhaps even jealous) if someone you thought you had a reasonably close friendship with (albeit via a chat window) spent most of his (or her) free time gallivanting around with virtual strangers leaving you behind in an electronic void? But I digress. This is a Queries entry … Bitchiness was yesterday.

Yep. I'm perplexed. And, though I can't explain why, I find it eating away at my self confidence leaving a chasm of questions and doubt. If our friendship is meant to primarily exist in a digital form, then what else can I do than to say "it is what it is" and leave it at that? Maybe I should just leave it all together? And as luck would have it, I've only got about 40 minutes left to "get over it" on this, the getting over-est day of days.

BTW … I hate the phrase "it is what it is." Just thought I should make that clear. And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go refill my thesaurus.

Clarification: This friend is str8 … I'm not looking to date/fuck him. I know better than to waste my time on str8 guys.