Why SafeSearch is on by default

Well I promised a more entertaining piece, but I didn't expect I'd have something so soon. And str8 guys, this is one you might just like.

One of my (somewhat conservative) friends came in today wearing what some described as an homage to Milli Vanilli… if Milli Vanilli was one person with a penchant for a monochromitic wardrobe. Personally, he looked more like he was rocking an early Avril Levine style, with the wide tie and collared shirt. Unfortunately he wasn't familiar with this punkish diva so I tried to enlighten him by running an innocent Google search for her picture. Neither of us were prepared for the results.

Here's an example of what I thought we'd get from the search…

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Here's what we actually saw…

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And yes, that cute little shamrock is hiding that naughty lady's vajayjay.

I was so taken back by what was suddenly spread eagle in front of me that I fumbled the mouse and missed clicking on the close window button. Instead the window scrolled down to reveal an even closer shot of another lady's angry flower. Now I've seen many pictures and video of said body part before—I've lived with plenty o' str8 guys who thought seeing pictures like that would "cure" me—that I really shouldn't have been as startled as I was. But I think the unexpectedness of it, the expression on Mr. Vanilli's face, and the fact that anyone else could have walked by and saw the images in all their glory on a wide-screen display strongly contributed to my temporary loss of hand/eye coordination.

When I finally managed to close the window, I looked over to see Mr. Vanilli doubled over in laughter. He composed himself and politely informed me that my face was now the same color of my shirt (a near perfect match of Pantone® 19-1663).

Needless to say, I learned why it's wise to leave SafeSearch on when searching images. He never learned what Avril Levine dressed like, but we now know all to well what she (or Photoshoped versions of her) undresses like.

I may need therapy.