Pride revisited

I have a confession. I'm over gay pride. Now before the straight people totally zone out, and before the gays call the authorities to have my membership card revoked, again, please hear me out. It's one thing to be proud of who you are, and even better to be brave by not being afraid of being yourself among those that would try knock you down (both figuratively and literally). But when you take a word, such as "pride," and turn it into a hollow, hyper-marketed, excuse to have a weekend long orgy of boozing, clubbing, and, um, orgies under the pretense of "pride," well, that's where you lose me. On the bright side, the SF Pride event is not-for-profit and does feature some actual community outreach activities if you know where to look.

Don't get me wrong, I like a good celebration as much as the next person (by "next person" I mean someone not all coked up, tripping on E, or loaded on poppers) and I'm not ashamed nor shy about who I am. Just ask my friends (who probably are shy and ashamed about me on occasion—Ricky and O Man in particular). But sometimes I feel a twinge of embarrassment when I see how "gay" is portrayed in the media… sadly, often by our own community (which to this day I feel that "gay community" is an oxymoron). Saddest of all, is that these "ideals" seem to be holding up, almost like role models! Mind you, this is just in my own experience, your milage may vary.

As much as I hate it, I fall prey to it myself… getting sucked into wanted to meet the "perfect gay image" that's in the media and advertising… super fashionable, rippling muscles, perfect skin, highly sexual. I start to fall for it, and I get so pissed off at myself for letting that happen. The whole thing can really get me down. And then I find stories like this… Gay community seeks Jerusalem parade - ynetnews.com.

This is a story I stumbled across (NSFW) tonight and it's what (obviously) prompted this mini-tirade. It makes me think about how often I take for granted that I can be openly gay and, for the most part, not have to worry about getting called names, assaulted, or beheaded. And then I think about how different our pride celebrations are here in the US. Cops show up at our parades to be part of the parades, but in places like Jerusalem the cops have to be asked to protect the parade participants and spectators. Our celebrations feature numerous dance stages, plenty of skin, vendor booths, and live entertainment for days. In Israel you're more likely to find speeches and demonstrations for civil/human rights and the struggle for democratic principles.

Life is hardly perfect here—we still have some civil challenges to overcome—but it could be a lot worse. We take our pride and freedoms for granted far too often because they are rarely challenged.

So for all the straight folks who made it this far… congratulations! (Um, that's all, there's no trophy or anything.) And for the gays who still want me to give my membership card back, just head over to gay.com's chat to meet tonight's hookup like you were on your way to do in the first place.

I promise my next post will not be a rant, shorter, and hopefully much more entertaining. In the mean time, please enjoy this story (and part two) from the wonderful Wil Wheaton.